I’ve been giving a great deal of thought lately to the 80/20 Rule. When I was younger I applied the rule loosely to just about anything you could imagine. My friends would roll their eyes when I explained that “life was 80 percent pain, suffering and challenge, and 20 percent wonderful.” I always felt that it was that miniscule 20 percent that made the wonderful so good because it was rare and not guaranteed. When we were lucky enough to experience wonderful, we really took notice and it accordingly swept over our lives and made all the misery disappear. It was obvious that if wonderful happened all the time, we simply would not appreciate anything good when it came along. In fact, we might even learn to disregard the wonderful and become numb to it…what a waste!

Decades later, I sit here and wonder whether the 80/20 Rule applies to more than met the eyes of a simple young girl all those years ago. I know it is an accurate indicator of human productivity, volunteerism, social and economic models, and other valuable measures and statistics. But as the world continues to stray, and humanity becomes more difficult to explain and make sense of to any real degree, perhaps the 80/20 Rule can be used to help us adapt to our brave new world in ways we have not imagined.

Sadly we have plenty of examples of why we need explanation. The Boston bombers. ISIS. Boko Haram. North Korea. Sex traffickers. Cartels. Scary stuff in our big blue world. Each and every day we hear our valiant members of the media, politicians and world leaders grappling with the differences that exist between people, cultures, countries and religions. I hear, “if we could only bridge the gap…” or “we are working on coming closer together on this or that arms deal.”

Wouldn’t it be great to have a formula to help us make sense of these damaging forces in the world? Why do people want to hurt and kill others that are perhaps not enough like them? Enter once again our trusty 80/20 Rule! From the beginning of time it rises from the ashes like a phoenix to place rationale and sense where it was not before. Let’s apply the rule to our modern-day headlines:

1. Boston Bombers (oh, hell…bombers in general really) – 20 percent of people in the world are unfortunate enough to be influenced, raised, cultivated, pimped, abused, tortured and nurtured by dark forces working through individuals who were also likely victims to the same type of negative influencers. I’ve read parts of the Koran and for the life of me I do not see where it says “kill the infidels” anywhere. The darker forces associate the writings to negative lessons that have warped their minds for years and produce the extremist verbiage that seems to go over very well when yelled in front of a crowd or a desert – but only when an assault rifle is slung around the chest area (notice: buxom women are not invited into the club for this very reason…the rifle won’t fit).

2. ISIS and Boko Haram – they go together like peanut butter and jelly. Actually, there are literally thousands of terrorist clubs and organizations we could toss into this salad bowl because they all are basically the same except they wear different clothing styles to protect their identities. They like long walks in hot zones and enjoy killing and raping women, children, civilians, antiquities, and anyone and anything that shares different beliefs and cannot fight back. The 80/20 Rule still applies: all told these folks make up about 20 percent of the world and terrorize the remaining 80 percent of humanity.

3. Sex traffickers & cartels – the lovely and kind-hearted folks who run these industries AND all those poor souls who work in these industries (including drug mules, carriers, street dealers enforcers, prostitutes, sex slaves, etc.) represent nearly 20 percent of the world’s population. Meanwhile they are servicing what probably seems like 80 percent or more of the global population, day-to-day. I remember talking with young brothel workers in Thailand years ago and learning that for $1.00 more a “client” could choose whether or not to use a condom when having sex with a seven- or eight year-old virgin. As one wealthy German banker bragged to me, “it is a good value when all is considered.”  I should say so…and then some.

Notice the trend? The 80/20 Rule works! We simply have to only accept the fact that for every 80 of awful, there is a 20 to balance it – or vice versa. Here’s more proof:

• Every person in the world is 80 percent alike, and 20 percent different. Want proof? Look at photos or videos of death, war, weddings and celebrations and no matter where the images originated from, the human response is similar. We all cry, laugh, kill, save and dance.
• The 20 percent who are different are usually that way because someone or something has taken advantage of them, tormented them into a life of hate or self-depravation, or basically twisted reality from birth so that they would remain in the 20 percent club. They were victims and now their goal is to create new victims. Remember, the 20 percent make a living by terrorizing 80 percent of humanity, sometimes successfully and often times not.

Perhaps you have a better way of making sense of the world we live in as it quickly evolves and slowly degenerates into the headline news, but the 80/20 Rule does work on nearly any quagmire known to man or woman. What a relief. I feel better about humanity already now that it is easier to explain.

Let’s face it…we are each and every one of us entirely expendable. For those of us lucky enough, we are born into the world and raised in an environment that teaches us we are special…we are unique in our individuality and all that we bring to the world. Early on, we simply are pure potential.

As we progress through the average lackluster education system, we are stripped of our unique qualities and aspirations, labeled by inept and outdated educators, exams and curriculum, and then made to be one of the mass-produced, under-innovative adults who graduates ready to face the world but is ill-equipped to do much more than stumble their way through early adulthood and sometimes their entire lives.

Then, as if we’re not upside down enough at that point, higher education comes along and spends several years trying to re-build the unique, wonderful and free-thinking qualities we were born with so that we can hopefully utilize more than 1/5th of our amazingly powerful human brain to think, scratch and climb our way out of the box we’ve been placed in all those many years ago. The goal of course is to live a life that hopefully includes a few achievements, some moderate successes, love and personal fulfillment, and (if we are really lucky) leaving the world a better place than how we found it.

We go through all this because we have to – well, most of us have to. But we go through all of this to find ourselves living in an “at-will” world which means that anyone can do anything to anybody else for any reason at all for the most part. “At-will” allows decision to be made devoid of emotion, ethics, rationale, empathy, sensibility (often times) or moral infusion. The notion of “at-will” defies the very fabric of what makes human potential possible: inter-dependency, loyalty, commitment, relationships and unending devotion to the growth and advancement of one another.

And so now we can easily apply the “at-will” philosophy to just about every aspect of our daily lives – from careers and marriage to business agreements, international relations and divorce. Everyone is “at-will” and we are all at the mercy of being dismissed/devalued/deconstructed/demoted for any reason that can fit within the boundaries of two little words that have changed the way the human race values one another. A proud moment in the history of humanity. As if the human race needed an “out” clause to undermine its potential and accountability any further. Score one for the other race…disgrace. Human race…0. Disgrace…1.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and yet what if the picture is out of focus?  Every four years the Olympic stage reminds us how small of a world we live in as athletes from all corners of the globe converge to compete for medals, glory and vindication.  They walk through the gates and their country, race, religion are left behind.  They are athletes.

As sure as there will be upsets and moments of glory, with every passing Olympics the rules and standards that are created and enforced to keep the playing field “even” suggest that we (as in the human race “we”) might still benefit from attending a Human Race 101 class now and then for review purposes.

Doping…I get it. That’s just not o.k. to rely on modern medicine when the 17-year-old you are competing against has logged 10 hours of training a day since she was four to get there.  But the social media sanctions?  Telling athletes what they can and cannot text to their friends and followers?  Are we at that point where we cannot simply handle people who lack common sense by slapping them down and shaming them anymore?  Can’t we fight back on the channels they chose to share their abusive thoughts through and not drag it onto the Olympic stage?

I don’t like racist comments anywhere – whether on twitter, Facebook or in the real world.  They are non-productive and make me mad as hell.  Every individual should be accountable and forced to live with the consequences of their behavior in their life and within their life.  We don’t need the IOC telling us what’s acceptable or not.  By doing so, the IOC is basically saying that, “we don’t trust these athletes to have good judgement and we have to police this because society cannot manage this problem without us.”  In fact the message in a larger sense becomes “the human race needs policing because we forgot how to behave.”

Now we’ve had a couple of bad judgements already from Greece and Switzerland – a mere two individuals out of thousands who decided their hateful thoughts deserved to be shared online.  But I say throw them in the ring let them appear before the court of worldwide human judgement.  Allow them on the field so they can feel the burn of the disapproving eyes of the world on them.  Let them compete against those they ridiculed and insulted.  We’ll see who fares better, who has the support of the world, and who comes out on top (regardless of medal placement).  I would hope that these two athletes feel the error of their ways every waking moment of their lives.  Not because they were expelled from the Olympics, but because people who matter to them remind them every day by example that racism and hatred are not acceptable.

In its earliest form, organized sport was used as a venue for judgement.  A place where slaves could win freedom, and the condemned could win life.  Right or wrong, sport provided the ultimate conflict resolution stage.  As civilizations evolved, sport rose above judgement and provided a playing field where athletes were held to the highest standards of performance and accountability – human accountability.  So should we all be.  Let the games begin.

I recently ended an important relationship. Important in my mind I suppose. We had a good thing for a few years although I know it was not perfect. I wasn’t aiming for perfect – in my defense. I found out he had cheated on me during our time together, both emotionally and physically. I even met the woman he cheated on me with although she and I both think there are plenty of others. Thank God my friends were with me because the moment of enlightenment was truly better than television and I would not have believed it to be true if it were not seen through their eyes as well as mine.

Interestingly enough, it was HE who inadvertently threw us together one night about a month or so ago…something deep down in him probably wanted us to both find out. At the time, I could only feel sadness. Not the anger I had imagined people who were cheated on felt. I hear the country western songs and even know some of the lyrics. I read poetry. I get that I was supposed to feel rage in my heart and all I felt was sadness and regret.

Since the not-so-chance meeting, I found ways to place blame on her, him and even myself (should have traveled less and spent more time with him, etc.). When the goal is to blame, there are always countless options and people to choose from. The problem is, blaming was not helping me move on and it certainly did not make me feel any better about the situation. I needed to be o.k. with the fact that for the first time in my life, I was cheatable (my new word) – deserving or not. I was the scorned woman who would have to learn to trust again, hoping that too many years would not pass me by in the process because there’s just not that much time left to live.

Part of the reason I started this blog was because something has changed in me since my epiphany in June. One night as I gave serious thought to the rest of my life, I decided I was going to try to do everything in my life slightly different. My strategy is change for the sake of change. All of the angst, the uneasy feelings, the unfamiliar, the adrenaline and risk… it was all part of the deal that I made with myself and the universe.

It’s not the other woman’s fault he cheated. In her mind’s eye, I’m the cheater because she had not known he and I were together. Ultimately I placed my faith in him that he would be loyal in the relationship and he decided – for whatever reason – to not be what I had hoped for. I chose to be loyal. So did she.

Blame ruins lives. It takes away possibilities and stunts potential. It creates unfulfilled people who never meet expectations. In the extreme, it germinates conflicts and wars. It fuels genocides and atrocities. It doesn’t solve, fix, repair, create, make whole – in fact, nothing good comes from blame. It is as toxic as hate and ignorance. In my own incredibly insignificant way, I truly understand now.

I’m not a victim and neither is the woman he cheated on me with – I refuse to refer to her as “the other woman” because she’s simply “a woman”. We can live our lives knowing we were both true to who we are and hopefully he can also do the same. I am not interested in placing blame and spending my precious energy and time on finding out the details of the indiscretion. I have far better things to do with my life and the time I have left on this earth. So does she.

Unexpectedly spent a seriously hot Fourth of July in St. Peters, Missouri…interesting lessons to be learned every day in every way in life.  Driving around neighborhoods to watch the amazing and often illegal fireworks – literally dozens of groups in a 5-mile area, gathering in their best red, white and blue – hooting and hollering with every blast. Houses with massive flags hanging from them and patriotic draping around windows.  Mid-westerners are serious about the Fourth of July.

On the small street where my brother and his family live, the fireworks show was equal to those displayed on San Diego Bay (well, not this year…), but normally.  No exaggeration.  These were every bit the close proximity pyrotechnics you see at stadium concerts and major professional shows – in the middle of a residential street for Christ’s sake.  Illegal, yes.  Dangerous, probably.  Entertaining, hell YES!

As we took to the car to catch the area displays, we opened the sun roof so the explosions of colors dripped down on us as we sat parked awkwardly in the middle of streets to catch the best views.  Families and friends gathering for the day, enjoying their common sense of country and pride. I felt as if I was wrapped in a soft red, white and blue blanket that made me instantly related to each and every person that I saw.  Country goes as deep as blood I believe.  It’s where you or your parents (or theirs) were born. It’s where your loved ones have died.  It’s where we choose to spend our time, visit or adopt.  Doesn’t matter where we originally came from, or where we are going to be eventually.  We are all here now.

Things became quiet around 9:30 or so, and we started up the car to drive home.  Passing one small court that was entirely dark, the world was illuminated by a group of five or six small children wearing red, white and blue t-shirts with a few adults.  The children were small, maybe six or eight years of age.  Smiling, giggling and jumping for joy. In their hands, sparklers that lit up their faces and showed their sun-kissed cheeks.  It was a scene out of Life Magazine, but live.  Brought me back to my childhood and lighting sparklers in the backyard with Mom and Dad.  Dad always had a hose ready, and we thought the pin wheel firework was the biggest thing we’d ever see in life.  Funny how everything is a big deal when you are a child.

The fireworks are gone. The feelings are not.

Obamacare survives.  Sandusky’s crimes = state pension.  Holder in contempt.  My hometown going broke.

Do you remember Chicken Little screaming “the sky is falling, the sky is falling!” as he ran around the barnyard?  Today is one of those days when running indiscriminately around the barnyard screaming may explain things better than words.

Did I expect Obamacare to survive?  Honestly, no – not in its entirety.  Should Sandusky or his wife (who spent years living in the house where young boys screamed in the basement during Jerry’s “tickle monster” rampages, but knew and heard nothing) receive one pension penny from PA?  No.  In fact, I think they should have to reimburse the state for any salary paid since the moment he began his (documented) rampage on young boys.

Should Eric Holder be held in contempt?  I don’t care if you are black, white, red or purple.  Republican, democrat, libertarian or green.  Ruler of the world or peasant.  If you lie or withhold evidence in the course of an investigation – and it is an investigation that is warranted as defined by the law and to the benefit of the people – you should be slapped with contempt.  As a people, we have looked the other way too long and let our laws grow more loosely defined by those who are in a position to use the law to their advantage.  At the end of the day, all that will remain is our humanity and our dignity – and the law, when used to represent the greater good and establish boundaries that ensure both, is something we can generally rely on when all else fails.

Would I ever have predicted that Stockton, CA, could become the largest city in the U.S. to declare bankruptcy?  Sadly, yes.  Many years ago a brilliant futurist and author Ken Dychtwald (read Age Wave and his other amazing books) predicted the demographic trends that are playing economic havoc on countries, nations and cities like Stockton around the world.  In simplistic terms, we are living too damn long because we have become a race of greedy, unreasonable humans who want to live to see 100, do so in the best of health, and afford a wonderful lifestyle until the day we drop dead.

There’s not enough of us paying into a system that is trying to support a disproportionate aging population. There aren’t even enough jobs for the folks who could pay into the system – still would not be enough to support the surging cost of caring for a geriatric global community who require massive amounts of health care and resources, not to mention pensions and social security benefits.  Factor into this the folks who take from the system yet do not contribute in the form of taxes, and you have a formula that can only lead to disaster.  Today it starts with Stockton, CA.  Tomorrow the world.

I sort of wish it was only the sky that was falling.